How to Start Your Journey Toward Total Self-Reliance Today

Let me tell you a story.

A few years ago, I found myself sitting in front of a dual-monitor setup, juggling freelance IT projects, a growing inbox, and a creeping sense of burnout. On paper, I was “making it”—autonomous, employed, and doing what I loved. But inside? I felt like a machine plugged into everyone else’s needs but my own. That’s when I realized: I wasn’t truly self-reliant.

Sure, I could configure a server in my sleep or deploy a full-stack app in an afternoon. But when it came to my mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing, I was outsourcing all of it—to distractions, deadlines, and outside validation.

That was the day I began my journey toward total self-reliance. And if you’re reading this, maybe you’re standing at a similar crossroads. Let’s walk this road together.

What Does Self-Reliance Really Mean?

Most people associate self-reliance with survivalist YouTubers or lone wolves living off the grid. But in reality, it’s far more nuanced. It’s about learning to trust yourself, meet your own needs, and create a life that aligns with your values—not someone else’s playbook.

For those of us in IT or tech, it’s easy to get caught in the loop of optimization and output. But true self-reliance goes deeper. It’s tied to self-discovery, individuality, and the ability to heal and grow without needing external permission.

You don’t need to disappear into the woods to live more self-reliantly. You just need to start tuning into you.

Step 1: Make Space for Self-Discovery

Before you do anything drastic like quitting your job or moving to a cabin, pause. This is where self-discovery comes in.

Ask yourself some hard (and honest) questions:

• What do I really want from my work and life?
• Am I living for me, or fulfilling someone else’s expectations?
• Where do I feel most drained—and why?

Journaling, meditation, or simply going on tech-free walks can help clear the noise. In fact, it was during a daily 6 a.m. walk—no headphones, no phone—that I first realized how much of my life was built on auto-pilot.

Creating space for reflection is the first real act of autonomy.

Step 2: Develop Practical Self-Sufficiency Skills

Self-sufficiency is a cousin of self-reliance—it’s about being capable in tangible ways.

If you’re in tech, this might mean learning how to troubleshoot without Stack Overflow for once (yes, really), or finally getting comfortable managing your own taxes as a freelancer. For others, it could be as basic (and empowering) as cooking your own meals or fixing a leaky tap.

These small wins build a powerful internal message: I’ve got this.

Some skills that strengthen self-sufficiency:

• Budgeting and managing your own finances
• Learning how to say “no” without guilt
• Repairing instead of replacing
• Growing your own food (even just herbs on your balcony)

Start with one skill. Then another. With each one, you take back a little more control—and gain a deeper trust in yourself.

Step 3: Redefine Self-Care as Self-Respect

We talk a lot about self-care in hashtags and wellness circles, but it’s often mistaken for indulgence instead of discipline.

True self-care means taking responsibility for your energy, boundaries, and health. Sometimes it is a hot bath or a weekend off. But often, it’s the tougher stuff—turning off Slack after hours, logging out of toxic social feeds, or admitting you need a break before the burnout hits.

One of the biggest acts of healing in my journey was learning to set digital boundaries. I stopped checking email after 7 p.m., and let my nervous system breathe. That small change? It gave me back hours of mental clarity each week.

Self-care is a form of self-reliance. When you care for yourself with integrity, you stop expecting others to “fix” you.

Step 4: Embrace New Experiences (and Discomfort)

Growth doesn’t happen in comfort zones—it happens when you stretch.

For me, this meant saying yes to new client industries I didn’t think I was “ready” for. For you, it might be signing up for that coding bootcamp, taking a solo trip, or finally launching that blog you’ve been too scared to start.

New experiences push you out of dependency and into growth. And the more unfamiliar situations you face, the more confident and self-reliant you become.

Don’t overthink it. Pick one thing you’ve been avoiding out of fear—and go do it this week.

Step 5: Reconnect with Your Spirituality and Inner Voice

Self-reliance isn’t just about external independence—it’s deeply connected to spirituality. Not necessarily religion, but your sense of inner alignment.

That voice inside that says, This is right. This is me.
When you ignore it, life feels heavy. When you listen, even challenges feel purposeful.

Whether it’s through prayer, breathwork, long nature walks, or creative expression, make time to reconnect with what fuels your inner world. A healthy spiritual connection gives you resilience when external life feels unstable.

Step 6: Own Your Individuality

Last but not least—lean into your individuality.

The more self-reliant you become, the less you need to conform. You stop dressing, working, or living for applause. You start doing things that feel right to you, even if they don’t fit into a neat social media box.

In the tech space, this might look like building a niche career that reflects your unique passions—like UX design for mindfulness apps, or coding for social justice platforms. The point is: Your difference is your power.

Final Thoughts: Your Self-Reliance Journey Starts Today

You don’t need a perfect plan to begin. Just a willingness to explore. Every small choice—cooking a meal, setting a boundary, asking a deeper question—adds up to something bigger.

Self-reliance isn’t a solo mission. It’s a lifelong relationship with yourself—one built on trust, healing, and honest growth**.**

So take the first step today. Tune into your needs. Start that journal. Say no to one thing that drains you. Say yes to one thing that excites you.